New Beginnings
by sockthief
Summary: Clarke finds herself Chancellor of the Ark after the Culling. She misses her family and Wells but finds friends she didn't know she couldn't live without. She doesn't think Bellamy Blake is one of them, until she ends up depending on him more than she ever thought she would. (or tumblr prompt where Bellamy finds out Clarke is more than the privileged princess he thought she was)
1. Responsibilities

Okay so I sort of stole this from tumblr user feministravenreyes but I also sort of didn't. This piece is loosely based off a post she made which I will add a link to. It was meant to be a drabble but I got a little carried away so anyway, this one goes out to her! Please enjoy!

0o0

It had been three months since the Culling, since the day that took her family and her best friend away from her. She hated to think too much about it. She liked to remember them when they were alive. She missed her dad terribly, and Wells too, even though she was mad at him beyond words. Sometimes, she wished she could bring him back to life just so she could kill him herself. She looked down at her wrist, donning the watch that once belonged to her father, not even to check the time, but to simply remember that it was his.

She supposed she missed her mother too, but the fact that she was part of the council-the old council- that had made her Chancellor, angered her. Memories of the Culling flooded back to her, Jaha's voice over the comm system "May we meet again" and her father hugging her so tightly she couldn't breathe before he pressed his watch into her palm, her mother telling her it was for the best, and the sound of her own screams when Wells betrayed her, and ducked onto B deck just before the doors closed, and five hundred and fifty one people died of asphyxiation.

She wiped her finger under her eyes, making sure she was dry before the meeting started. She sat in Jaha's old chair and watched as the other council members filtered in. Raven Reyes from Mecha Station, Paul Slater from Hydra Station, Justin Giles form Tesla Station, and Bellamy Blake from Factory Station.

The idea was to take someone who would best be suited to preside over a certain aspect of life on the Ark and sit them on the council. Raven was the head engineer, and though her father held that position before her, Clarke had overlooked that fact and become friends with the girl. Slater was in charge of making sure the Ark's water systems were sustainable and though he was good at his job, Clarke didn't really trust him. Justin was a nice guy, he knew a lot about crops and the condition of the Ark's food supply, but lacked the ability to stand up for himself. If anything, Clarke pitied him. If there was one person she did _not_ pity, it was Bellamy Blake. He was in charge of the guard. And he was an ass.

She glared at him as he walked in and sat in the chair to her left.

It was going to be a long meeting.

0o0

The council meeting was actually quite productive. The water filtration system was running smoothly after a draining issue last month and the water was now safe to drink. Though the system was running at full capacity, the Ark still ran on shower schedules by station. It wasn't ideal, but it was effective.

The cadets in the guard hated Bellamy for upping the training regimen, but respected him for being a fair leader. Clarke didn't really care what he did, as long as he wasn't brainwashing them to be jackasses. They were all kids now.

The oxygen filters were back up to par, and Clarke agreed with Raven's assessment. She hadn't had any oxygen deprived patients in the clinic since the Cuilling. Less people breathing.

Oh yeah, she was also the head of medical.

The thing she was seeing in the clinic now was a high death rate due to starvation, especially in children and infants. With most people over the age of thirty dead, friends had paired up, taking in young neighbors and working as family units. The housing situation was a mess for a while, but Clarke did her best to make everyone happy. Rations were now equal for everyone on the entire Ark, but the redistribution of food left them with the question of their ability to grow more. Even with a sufficient water supply, it was a difficult task to grow food in space.

Even though there were less people on the Ark, the people left were growing kids and teenagers, which led to the problem of stunted growth and development, which meant that for the common good, she would be forced to float those who could not pull their weight.

She didn't want it to come to that.

Though the oxygen levels were fine and the water filtration system was fine and the stupid fucking guard was fine, the food supply was not fine, and Clarke was not fine.

She was tired. Only three months on the job and it had drained her. _An eighteen year old should not feel this exhausted_ , she thought. Often times, Clarke would slip away to the clinic for some peace and quiet. Though she now had people training under her, whom she knew were more than capable of handling anything that walked through the door, she still felt the need to check up on them. It made her feel like a good mentor, and also gave her an excuse to leave the Chancellor's office and the communications room.

That didn't stop her from receiving calls though.

Clarke groaned and grabbed the comm that was strapped to her belt.

"What do you need? Over." she asked though the device before releasing her finger from the button.

"Domestic situation on Mecha. Over." Came Bellamy's voice through the speaker. She wanted to throw it at the wall. She pinched the bridge of her nose before responding,

"Isn't that where _you_ come in? Over." she asked him slowly.

"I really think you should see this. Over." His voice grew anxious and Clarke groaned.

"On my way. Over." She told him, "Sterling, Fox, you guys alright if I go clean up Blake's mess?" she asked her interns.

"Of course, Chancellor Griffin, we're all set here." Fox answered with a smile.

"Just Clarke." She muttered, cringing at the title before stalking off to Mecha Station.


	2. Problems

A/N: I'm getting really into this one. I've also been using this fic as a procrastination tool for my other fics and also for my life in general. Tumblr user feministravenreyes: don't give up on me. Enjoy, review, favorite!

0o0

When Clarke reached Mecha, Raven was already there, waiting for her with Bellamy at Mecha's main control room which was connected to the other stations. The new council had decided it best to continue living in their stations of origin, instead of all holing up on Alpha Station. They thought it would diffuse some of the tension on the lower stations that had grown under Jaha's regime. But if it wasn't for the comms, Clarke didn't know how they would be able to get anything done.

"Took you long enough." Bellamy spat at her under his breath when she approached them. Clarke just rolled her eyes and ignored the comment.

"What's the issue?" she directed her question at Raven, who she assumed had been on Mecha during the whole dispute. Raven just glared at Bellamy.

"Mr. Articulate over here called it a domestic but truth is I don't know what to call it." Bellamy glared back at her and then at Clarke, knowing when he was the butt of the joke.

"Well what happened?" Clarke asked with worry.

"Someone accessed the float deck. The chamber was opened, but it's sealed off now and Raven says the oxygen levels have returned to normal." Bellamy informed her.

"Are you shitting me? Someone floated themselves? When did this happen?" Clarke was panicked now. Had she made conditions on the Ark worse since becoming Chancellor? Was she the reason someone hated the Ark, and her, so much that they would float themselves? Clarke crossed her arms so Bellamy and Raven wouldn't notice her shaking hands.

"When? I don't know. I was on my way to Factory when I noticed something was off in the control room. The CO2 light was flashing so I checked the control log and noticed unauthorized access to the float deck. If I had to guess though, it couldn't have happened more than an hour ago." Bellamy informed her curtly, teetering on the edge of disrespect. Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose again, something she'd noticed herself doing a lot lately.

"Who was it? Who's gone?" she asked quietly.

"We don't know yet. We would have to get the housing list for Mecha and have everyone accounted for." Raven explained.

"Okay then," she looked up, "Raven, lock down Mecha, tell them it's something with the oxygen levels, I don't care. Then get that list. And Blake," she turned, addressing him, "I want your best men interrogating everyone on this station, and no cadet ride alongs, send them back to Factory. We haven't floated anyone yet and I don't want to start. I'm going to tell Slater and Justin to stay put for now. I'll be back in an hour and someone had better tell me something." Clarke's voice rang with authority as Raven and Bellamy left the control room to complete their tasks. Clarke watched them exit and head their separate ways, then she too followed them out.

Being in charge was exhausting, it's true, but Clarke found it was easy to give directions and it was easy to tell people what to do. And Clarke hated it.

0o0

When she returned to Mecha an hour and a half later, he had Slater and Justin with her. They met Bellamy and Raven back in the control room.

"Alright what have we got?" Clarke asked when everyone was more or less comfortable. Bellamy was standing at attention, something she noticed he did out of habit, probably from his cadet days. Raven sat slouched in a chair and Justin and Slater followed Raven's lead.

"Two people on Mecha are unaccounted for. Two girls named Trina and Bree. They took in a twelve year old named Charlotte. Her mom was killed in the Culling and her dad was floated by Jaha when she was nine." Raven said solemnly, "Charlotte was taken to the med bay. She's with Fox right now." Clarke nodded a silent thank you for the assessment and a silent sorry for the loss of Raven's own.

"If it was anyone on Mecha, they're not fessing up." Bellamy informed them, "We didn't get to ask any questions on the deck next to the chamber. Some people were complaining of nausea and headaches and some had trouble breathing from all the CO2 so we escorted them to the med bay and we'll get to them later."

"It wouldn't have been anyone from that deck anyway," Raven spoke up, "No one would be dumb enough to stick around and give themselves CO2 poisoning."

"Sounds like you think this is a multiple man job." Slater said, directing his statement at Raven.

"I do." she replied simply.

"How so?" Clarke wanted to know. So Raven elaborated, smiling mirthlessly.

"For starters, the chamber controls aren't designed on a timer or anything like that. Someone would have to be really smart, like as smart as me smart, to program a system to open the chamber within a set amount of time. So someone would have to be in here, handling controls on the float deck while someone waited inside the chamber. Then there would also have to be someone pulling the lever that's outside the chamber but still on the float deck. It's a three man job at least. Then there's the question of why someone would want to be floated in the first place. Unless they didn't want to be floated."

"Sounds like you've thought a lot about this." Slater accused.

"It's my job to think like that, I'm a fucking mechanic!" Raven defended herself.

"Hey! Stop it!" Clarke shouted over them, "Both of you cool it." She groaned internally as the room went silent and all eyes turned to her. Justin still hadn't said a word and Clarke glanced at him with tired eyes and a small smile. She brought her hands to her hips and paced the length of the room three times before a thought occurred to her.

"All the control rooms operate basically the same, right?" Clarke asked to no one in particular. Raven nodded her head in confirmation.

"Then could it have even been someone from another station? I mean if they knew the basic controls?" All four council members stared at her with varying degrees of wide eyes and apprehension, and then dawning.

"It could have been anyone on the whole fucking Ark." Bellamy said in a low voice.

"I want this whole place on lockdown. I'm going to talk to Charlotte." Clarke ordered.


	3. Close Calls

A/N: For some reason, this chapter was frustrating to write. There's a lot going on here. And as promised, here is the link for the post where the whole idea for this fic came from.

post/115825015189/but-imagine-if-everything-was-good-and-they-stayed

0o0

"Charlotte?" Clarke called softly from behind the curtain that shielded the young girl from the rest of the clinic. She slowly pulled back the curtain so as not to scare her.

"Chancellor Griffin?" Charlotte asked, surprised to see her and not Fox checking up on her. Clarke smiled a tight smile.

"You can just call me Clarke, okay?" Charlotte nodded and smiled at her. Clarke noticed her small teeth and felt a sharp pang of sorrow for the child in front of her. Both her parents and her guardians were gone and Clarke wished desperately that she could bring them all back.

"So the oxygen levels are back to normal but you seem to be a little underweight." Clarke told her, "Who do you live with?" she asked, already knowing the answer. Clarke flipped through Charlotte's file on her clipboard, waiting for a response.

"Trina and Bree." A smile lit up her face and Clarke thought she was going to puke, "They're my friends but they're working right now."

"What were you doing when the guards found you?" Clarke asked, trying to keep her voice even.

"Well I didn't have school today so I was in our apartment reading a book my teacher gave me to borrow." Clarke nodded and tried to give Charlotte a genuine smile before continuing her questions. She sat on the edge of Charlotte's cot.

"Do you know why you're here? Do you know what happened?" at this Charlotte shook her head and Clarke held back the vile that threatened to escape her lips.

"Someone opened the hatch on the float deck. That means there was a lot of carbon dioxide in the air. That's why you got sick." Clarke explained in a slow, even voice.

"Are Trina and Bree sick too?" Charlotte asked, craning her neck to see around Clarke into the main area of the clinic.

"Listen, Charlotte," Clarke gained her attention again, and the serious tone of her voice made Charlotte's eyes go wide, "Someone floated Trina and Bree. They're gone, sweetheart." And she couldn't bring herself to say another word as Charlotte's sobs and screams filled the med bay and probably all of GoSci. Her arms failed, desperate to hit something, which happened to be Clarke's arm, to focus the pain of losing the people she was closest to.

Charlotte's fists relented and Clarke pulled the child on her lap and just held her there as Charlotte curled into her and continued to sob.

Clarke thought the pain would never end.

She didn't know how long she sat with Charlotte, but it must have been a while, because her tears subsided and her breathing evened out to hiccups every minute or so. Raven materialized in the clinic soon after that.

"Clarke, Bellamy needs you on Factory." Raven said in a tone that told her it was an urgent matter, but didn't want to upset Charlotte. But the girl wasn't stupid, and she clung to Clarke even tighter.

"Where am I supposed to go?" Charlotte wailed as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

"We'll find a – "but Clarke couldn't finish her sentence of consolation

"You'll stay with me," Raven said, as if the matter were already settled, "You'll be the second best mechanic on the Ark." This distracted Charlotte from her cries and she looked at Raven with streaks on her face.

"Who's the first best?" the girl asked. Raven smirked.

"Me of course," Raven looked at her in earnest, "Let's go grab your things and get you settled in, okay?" Charlotte nodded sadly and kept her head trained on the ground as Raven took her hand, "Clarke, Factory." She gave Clarke a pointed look.

She watched Raven lead the child down the corridor towards Mecha and bit back the tears that threatened to betray her. Whatever Bellamy needed, she couldn't let her council members see her like this. She bit the inside of her cheek as she walked; distracting her from the memories of losing everyone she loved, too.

0o0

"What the fuck." Was all Clarke could manage to say as she turned the corner of the corridor where Bellamy had told her to meet him over the comm.

"Get behind me!" he shouted gruffly at her and she immediately did as she was told, her heart pounding in her ears. Peeking over his shoulder, she saw two boys pointing guns at them. Then she realized that Bellamy himself had a gun aimed back at them. Upon further inspection, she identified the two boys across form them as Dax and Murphy, two members of the guard, both of whom worked directly under Bellamy. They were backed against the huge metal door that separated Factory Station and Argo Station.

"Why'd you do it? Why'd you float Trina and Bree?" Bellamy demanded. This was a standoff, Clarke realized.

"We didn't _want_ to," Murphy said, quite relaxed, which was in complete contradiction to his tense stance.

"But Bree was stealing our rations for that bitch they take care of." Dax elaborated. Clarke tasted vile again as she thought of Charlotte.

"She thought she was being careful. But she got what she deserved." Murphy said. Clarke hated him for his words and she sure as hell wasn't going to hide being Bellamy Blake as he said them. She stepped out beside Bellamy, to which he told her to get behind him again. She held her arm out when her tried to move in front of her while keeping his eye trained on their adversaries.

"Drop the gun, Bellamy," she ordered, "Same goes for you two." She called to Murphy and Dax, who gave her an incredulous look.

Clarke honestly thought she could handle this situation until several things happened at once.

First, Raven and Slater came running around the corner, taking in the sight of Clarke, defenseless, with a gun aimed at her and Bellamy, armed, with a gun trained on him as well. Then, as Raven and Slater's eyes were still wide, Dax took the opportunity to fire a round directly at Clarke, the bullet missing her by centimeters as Bellamy pushed her down with one arm and put a round square in Dax's chest simultaneously. In the same fluid movement, he trained his weapon on Murphy who curled his lip and continued to back into the metal door. Bellamy's left arm stretched out in front of Clarke.

The door behind Murphy groaned open and he slipped through the small opening before the direction reversed and the door began to close. Knowing it would lock immediately, Raven ran forward, and slid through the waning space, lodging her leg between the doors, stopping them from shutting all the way. She cried out as the heavy metal threated to crush her legs.

When Murphy realized what she was doing, he turned around, already beginning to race through Argo, and shot a bullet at Raven, that skimmed her back and lodged itself somewhere near her spine. Raven cried out again and Slater ran to the wall, frantically typing in the password to open the door, setting Raven free. He then sat with Raven, taking off his own shirt to stop the blood flowing from the girl's back.

Bellamy was already in action and as soon as the door opened, he was jumping over Dax's body and sprinting after Murphy and another boy who seemed to appear out of nowhere but presumably joined him on the Argo side of the door.

"Miller! Miller come in I need your unit in Argo heading towards Factory. Now!" Bellamy shouted into his comm.

Clarke watched him go, praying he wouldn't get himself killed, and knelt by Raven with Slater.

"We need to get her to medical. Can you save her?" Slater asked. Clarke just nodded feebly, unsure if she was even still capable of speaking.

"Sterling, Fox, prepare the med bay for surgery, me and Clarke are bringing Raven in. We've got a dead body on the end of Factory. Take care of it when you're done. Over." Slater ordered through his comm before he hauled Raven's body up so it was resting against his own. She screamed again and Clarke took his soiled shirt and kept the pressure even on Raven's back as they hastily made their way to medical.

0o0

Raven's energy was drained but her body remained tense. Clarke had given her the highest amount of anesthesia her ration points allowed, which still meant Raven felt most of it.

Loud screams emanated from the med bay for the second time that day.

"Raven, I swear to god if you don't die, I'm going to kill you myself. You take in a twelve year old and get shot in the same day. I swear I'm going to kill you." Clarke muttered to Raven, but mostly just herself as she worked on removing the bullet from Raven's back. It had hit very close to her spine and only missed the vertebrae by a few millimeters. Clarke didn't know whether or not Raven would be paralyzed after this, but Clarke was confident that her friend would live.

Once the slug was removed and Raven was stitched up and sleeping, Clarke took off her gloves, mask, and scrubs, leaving her in her jeans and worn shirt. Sterling wheeled Raven's cot out of the operation bay and behind a curtain. Clarke thanked him and put her jacket back on. She was startled when a boy with long, messy brown hair stood up from his spot on the floor in the main area of the clinic.

"Oh, Finn, hi." She greeted Raven's boyfriend. She didn't know him that well but she knew Raven and him had been together for a long time and that they were inseparable.

"Is she..." he trailed of, looking past Clarke to where his girlfriend's sleeping form laid.

"She's alive, just asleep. You can sit with her if you'd like, just let her rest." She smiled weakly, drained from everything that happened that day. She needed a twelve hour nap.

"Thank you." Came Finn's voice very close to her ear. It took Clarke a moment to realize that he was hugging her. She returned the gesture.

"If her condition changes or if she wakes up, let Sterling know so he can comm me, okay?" she instructs, releasing him from the embrace.

"Thank you." He said again. Clarke nodded and exited the clinic, wearily making her way back to her small apartment on Alpha. She couldn't stand living in the one she grew up with her parents in, so she reassigned herself to a smaller one.

It was as she was approaching the hallway that took her to her apartment, and ultimately, her bed, that she saw a figure leaning pensively against the wall of the corridor, arms crossed, waiting for her.

It was Bellamy Blake.

 _What now_ , she thought.


	4. The Traitors

A/N: SORRY. I had this chapter ready to go and completely forgot about it. Merry Late Christmas.

0o0

"What do you want, Blake?" she bit back a string of profanities that lay on the tip of her tongue. All she wanted was some sleep.

"What do _I_ want? How about what do _you_ want? Because it seems to me like you have a death wish." He shot at her. Clarke was thoroughly taken aback.

"I'm sorry, what?" she demanded with her hands placed on her hips. What was he accusing her of?

"You were reckless today. You could have gotten one of us killed. You almost got Raven killed." He growled at her, hitting way below the belt.

"It's not like I told Raven to throw herself at that door! I didn't ask Murphy to shoot her!" Clarke defended herself, brushing past him and moving to unlock her apartment. She did not have the patience for this conversation and she didn't like his implications that she couldn't take care of herself.

"What do you think you're doing?" Bellamy barked at her, his hand gripped her shoulder to spin her around to face him. She gave him a look of complete and utter disdain.

"I'm going to sleep because I'm fucking tired." She ripped her arm away from his tight grip.

"I floated two bodies today, Princess. You can take care of the other two."

"What are you talking about? What did you do?" Clarke smacked his shoulder, which probably hurt her palm a lot more than it hurt his limb.

"Miller's unit caught up to Murphy and took him in. I went back to Factory for Dax. Fox was there so I sent her back to medical and I grabbed Harper and Monroe to help me float his body. Further down the hall we picked up Myles's body. They shot him too. He was one of my best and he died saving my ass. Then you show up thinking you're invincible."

"You're the one that commed me to meet you in Factory," Clarke interrupted him, "so don't go blaming me for Myles." She sighed, regretting her words immediately and went to correct them, "I'm sorry about Myles, really, but I'm not sorry for trying to find a solution that didn't involve guns." Bellamy just glared at her and supposed he had to take her apology for what it was.

"What good is being Chancellor if you're dead?" he muttered and Clarke rolled her eyes.

"Well then you could be Chancellor and not have to see me again. I bet you'd like that." Clarke bit back and Bellamy's expression went stone cold.

"You can sleep later. We have an interrogation." He said in a deep voice and she was compelled to follow him to the holding facility where Murphy and his accomplice were currently detained. They walked together in silence; Bellamy treaded a few paces ahead and the resentment almost tangible between them. Clarke sighed. She was in charge. It was her responsibility to smooth things over with Bellamy, even though she hated his guts. She sped up to match her pace with his, which was difficult, as he was a full head taller than she was.

"Who was the third guy working with Murphy and Dax?" she asked him in an even voice. His face showed no change in emotion. If anything, his eyes grew darker.

"You're not going to believe it." Was all he said in reply.

When they reached the holding facility, Miller and Slater were already there waiting for them. The room they were in was small. It was used as an interrogation room. The assailants were locked up in separate cells adjacent to the room.

"Good you're here. Bring Murphy in, Miller." Bellamy ordered. So Miller turned abruptly and exited the room, dragging Murphy in with him a few moments later, sitting him down in a chair roughly and cuffing his wrists to the table.

"I'm not telling you pricks anything." Murphy announced, earning him a punch in the jaw from Bellamy.

"Oh I think you will." Bellamy growled at him.

"Hey!" Clarke called, "We're not torturing him!"

"The hell we are! He killed Myles." Bellamy roared.

"Blake," Clarke seethed through her teeth, "I think you need to leave." She stared right into his eyes and was one hundred percent sure he would kill Murphy if she let him.

"Slater, find out anything you can and Miller, watch his back." Both men nodded at her and she pushed Bellamy out of interrogation.

"I'm sorry about Myles." She added to Miller as he closed the door behind them. He nodded at her curtly and then she saw a cold metal door instead of his face.

"And you, you need to calm the fuck down." Clarke rounded on Bellamy who was now smirking down at her.

"You won't be so calm when you see who's on the other side of that door." He nodded his head toward the next interrogation room. She squinted at him. Determined to prove him wrong, she marched right in and became acutely aware of two things

One, Harper was guarding the man sitting cuffed in a chair, similar to the set up currently going on in the other room.

Two, Justin Giles was the man sitting in the chair.

"Holy fuck."

"It's always the quiet ones." Bellamy muttered under his breathe, but Clarke caught it.

"Not the time, Blake."

If Clarke thought becoming Chancellor turned her world upside down, it was nothing compared to being down two council members


	5. The Floating

A/N: I don't really like this chapter but I think it's necessary for plot development. Monty and Jasper are introduced next chapter so get excited!

0o0

After a short interrogation, it was Murphy confessed that he, Justin and Dax were responsible for the murders of Trina, Bree and Myles. The Council, or what was left of it, gathered to decide the punishment for Murphy and Justin.

"Just float them!" Slater yelled for what must have been the sixth time that hour. Bellamy sighed, and continued his less enthusiastic argument,

"It would be easier to get rid of them than have them fucking up more shit on the Ark, but do we want to start acting like the last Council?"

"The last Council did what they had to do!" Clarke defended.

"Oh, that's right," Bellamy scoffed, "I forgot your family ran this place, Princess. You were untouchable." Clarke froze, taking Bellamy's comment just as bad as he meant it.

"Guys, stop it." Slater got up and started pacing the span of the room, "We have to decide on something." Clarke sighed, something she'd been doing a lot lately, and spoke.

"I hate to do this, I really do," she glared at Bellamy for a moment before turning back to face both men, "But I think that floating them is the best option to keep the peace on the Ark. We're going to do this right, though. We're going to be open, public, tell everyone what they did and why we have to do this."

"What about finding new Council members?" Slater asked. Clarke rounded on him, overtired and angry and completely fed up with keeping everyone in line.

"I'm sorry, was that a plural? Because Raven is still alive. We only need one more member." She glared at Slater, out of annoyance and mild distaste for the man, and went to exit the room. "I'm going to make the announcement." She said solemnly, her hand hovering over the handle before yanking it open and disappearing down the hall.

0o0

To say that Clarke and Raven had become close was an understatement. After losing Wells, Clarke had all but clung to Raven, and the mechanic took a liking to Clarke as well. They trusted each other, and better than that, Raven didn't hold her status, current or previous, against her and for that Clarke was grateful. So that's how Clarke found herself in the med bay once again, this time seated next to Raven.

"I'm losing it, Raven. Three months in and I'm already fucking losing it." Clarke went on, recapping everything that happened in the past twenty-four hours.

"I still can't believe that fucker wanted to replace me." Raven mused with her eyes closed, still sore and tired.

"I think we should replace him and Blake." Clarke muttered under her breath. Raven gave her a small smile.

"Bellamy just does what he has to. He's good at putting his feelings aside. That's why he seems harsh to you."

"Because I feel too much." Clarke nodded, knowing her own weakness. A silence fell over the young leaders and they stayed like that for a while, until Raven spoke in a soft voice, a contrast to her usual daunting tone.

"How's Charlotte?"

"Worried about you mostly. She goes to her classes, she gets good marks from what I hear. I have Miller escorting her around and I told Blake to send someone he trusts to check on her every night."

"So you trust Bellamy's judgement?" raven opened her eyes to give Clarke a skeptical look. Clarke just shrugged.

"It's like you said, he takes his shit seriously."

"Thank you." Raven closed her eyes again.

"I think Finn wants to see you. I'll send him in, okay?" Clarke said, touching her hand lightly to Raven's shoulder, her way of bidding goodbye.

"Tell him to keep it quiet." Clarke smiled mirthlessly to herself before switching places with Finn, making sure he knew Raven needed her rest. He nodded and went to hold Raven's hand as she slept.

0o0

Clarke's talk with Raven was exactly what she needed. She still felt the heavy weight of responsibility, but she felt lighter somehow. She wondered how this could be as she made her way to the main control deck on Alpha Station to make the public announcement about the Council's decision to float John Murphy and Justin Giles.

Clarke didn't prepare a speech, and honestly, it was all a blur. She told the truth. She was straight up with her people but somehow, she still felt sick to her stomach, like she was keeping some sort of secret.

The floating wasn't scheduled until the next day, so Clarke decided not to think about it too much. It was finally time for the sleep she had been waiting for. It had been a good day and a half since she had last taken a break, though, logically, she knew she would never get a break again as long as she was Chancellor.

When she awoke, it was early the next morning. Deciding sleep was pointless; Clarke dressed in jeans, a long sleeved gray shirt, and a jacket. She slipped on her boots and went off to the clinic to check in on Raven.

The mechanic was asleep, Clarke wasn't surprised. It would be another week and a half at least until Clarke could take out the stitches, and even then, Clarke wasn't sure if she would be able to walk, or even sit up by herself. It upset her too much to think about what Slater had said, about needing two Council replacements. She decided to worry about that later and silently wished Raven a speedy recovery before heading off to find Bellamy and Slater to prepare for the floating.

0o0

"Don't you dare." Bellamy seethed.

"And why not?" Clarke shot back. Slater just sighed, already becoming far too familiar with their antics.

"Their deaths are not poetic! They're not going to be missed. They killed people, Princess. They deserve nothing."

"Don't call me that! And some people here aren't monsters like you." She spat, almost regretting the words that rolled off her tongue.

"Careful." He warned her in a low, dark voice, "you don't know what Murphy's done to me and my-"he cut himself off and started again, "Giles screwed us all over." Clarke went to yell at him again, but Slater stood up, putting himself between two hurricanes.

"Let Clarke say something, okay? Let her do it." Bellamy didn't look at the man as he spoke; he kept his gaze trained don Clarke, daring her to look away first. She did.

"Let's get over to Mecha." She muttered.

It was a silent walk to the control station on Mecha, and when they arrived, there were very little people in attendance. Friends of Trina and Bree's were there, hoping they would find some peace in the deaths of murderers. Some of the members of the guard were there for the same reason. Clarke forbade Charlotte to be there, and the floating was not public. It was bad enough she had to do this, she didn't want the rest of the Ark to feel as morbid as she did.

Some of the people on the deck had to turn away as Murphy and then Justin were floated. Even Clarke had to look away as the air rushed in a pulled each man out into space. She fought tears as she silently begged her parents and Wells to forgive her. She caught Bellamy glance over at her. Feeling weaker and smaller than she ever had, Clarke turned away so the older man couldn't see her tears.

After the Murphy and Justin were gone, Clarke ushered everyone off the deck and back to wherever they needed to be. She walked by herself back to the control room on Alpha station to make and Ark wide announcement.

"We are one people." She said, her voice breaking a bit as she ended her speech, "We have the same goals: to survive up here. I did not want to have to float anyone, but I will not sit back and let someone get away with murder. What the Council has done today is a stain on our young reputation. Please do not force us to continue with it." She finished with a nod before the video signal shut off, and Clarke was left alone with her thoughts.


	6. The New New Council

A/N: This goes out to **itoldyouso2718** on FF because the comment you left gave me the motivation to crank out this chapter! Thank you and enjoy!

0o0

A week after the floating, Clarke found herself in the clinic once again. She had just finished taking out the stitches in Raven's back and was in the process of checking the range of motion the mechanic had left.

"On the bright side, you can still use your arms." Clarke offered, not wanting to give Raven all bad news.

"Get to my legs, Griffin.' Raven scoffed at the doctor. Clarke sighed, and moved toward the lower half of Raven's body.

"I'm going to put pressure on your legs, starting at your feet. Let me know when you can feel my hands. It might hurt a little." Clarke warned her.

"Getting shot in the back hurt a little." Raven said sarcastically, not willing to lose her pride as well as the use of her legs. Ignoring that comment, Clarke began to apply pressure on Raven's feet and then her ankles, without another word from her. Both girls seemed to hold their breath as Clarke worked her way up Raven's calf and then her knees. Raven still felt nothing.

"Fuck!" Raven screamed when Clarke touched the spot just above her knees. Clarke withdrew her hands immediately, not sure if Raven's cry was out of pain or anger.

"Try bending your legs." Clarke whispered, and Raven did what she was told, or tried to. Her legs remained flat on the cot she had been chained to for the past week and a half.

"So, uh, no shit I can't walk right now. Will that ever be possible?" Raven matched Clarke quiet tone. Clarke just shook her head.

"I suppose so. Maybe with practice you could walk with a brace." Clarke offered.

"Don't sugarcoat this. This is it. I'm crippled now." Raven's lip trembled; holding back sobs and screams of frustration.

"I'm sorry." Was all Clarke could manage to say through her tightening throat.

0o0

The day after Raven found out she was paralyzed, Clarke called an impromptu Council meeting to choose a new member. She liked to be early for these things, or at least present before anyone else. It made her feel like she had her shit together more than she actually did. Not only that, but Clarke found over the years that punctuality was an admirable trait. She wasn't very surprised to discover that one Bellamy Blake did not possess that trait, because he was close to twenty minutes late for the meeting. Normally, Clarke would be furious. Instead, she was rather worried. He wasn't answering his comm and Raven began rapping her fingers on the table.

"Remember when I said Bellamy has his shit together?" she asked, clearly annoyed.

"What if something happened?" Clarke said to Slater, ignoring Raven's comment. She was still on edge after the mutiny they had to deal with last week, and Clarke didn't think she could handle it if someone else died.

"Chancellor Griffin? Clarke, come in. Over." Bellamy's voice said through the comm, startling the three Council members.

"This had better be good. You're late for the meeting. Over." Clarke answered quickly, letting out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"Disciplinary. Head to interrogation. Over." Clarke just rolled her eyes.

"On my way. Over" she responded promptly. Then she turned to Slater and Raven, "Can you take her? We'll have to reschedule."

"Sure thing." Slater nodded, situating Raven on his back. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Take me to Finn." She ordered, and the pair headed toward Mecha while Clarke headed deeper into Alpha.

"This had better be good." Clarke repeated when she met Bellamy outside of the interrogation room. He only glared at her with his dark eyes.

"So what are we dealing with?" she asked.

"Drugs."

"Drugs? Drugs are a bigger issue than being down a Council member. Okay." Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose, "Let's go."

Clarke almost had to laugh when they entered the small interrogation room for the second time in two weeks. The boys sitting at the table were definitely not what she had expected, not after Murphy and Justin.

One of the boys had a huge mop of messy brown hair, with a pair of goggle hanging off his neck, looking like he was about to shit himself. The other one had a similar expression, but was distinctly Asian.

Clarke bit her lip and nodded to Miller, who was guarding the delinquents. Miller nodded back to her and Bellamy and silently left the room. She took the chair opposite of the boys and with Bellamy standing behind her, she just simply stared at them for a moment, not because she wanted to intimidate them, but because she was utterly incapable of articulating just how pissed she was that Bellamy thought that this constituted as a problem. She began the interrogation.

"What station are you guys from?" she asked.

"Argo." The Asian answered automatically.

"Names?" Clarke raised an eyebrow as they glanced between each other.

"Jasper Jordan." The kid with the goggles muttered.

"Monty Green." The other admitted. Clarke just nodded, unamused with how she was currently spending her time.

"So tell me, in your own words, why Commander Blake's guards brought you here." Clarke asked, getting quite snippy without really meaning to. These poor boys weren't the source of her frustration.

"Umm, well… We took some stuff, I mean not really! Actually, we didn't take anything." The boy named Jasper stuttered. Clarke just raised her eyebrow again. Something in her expression invoked fear in the eyes of the two boys, and Monty quickly took over the speaking, as his partner didn't seem to thrive under pressure.

"We were making something. Not a very legal something. The only thing we took was a small corner of the warmest greenhouse in Argo."

"Very small corner." Jasper corroborated quietly. Clarke moved her hand to cover her mouth. She might have looked pensive or angry, but really, she was just trying to keep herself from laughing.

"Pot." Clarke said. The two boys looked at her, guilt flooding their eyes, "Were you selling the weed?"

"No! No of course not! I mean sometimes we'd hang out with some friends and have a good time but that's it, I swear!" Jasper pleaded, and then grunted as Monty kicked him under the table.

"I'm not going to ask you to rat out your friends. I understand the importance of loyalty," Clarke hesitated before asking, "Are you high right now?" Seduced by the fairness of Clarke's form of interrogation as opposed to what Bellamy's would have been, they answered honestly.

"Yeah, a little." Monty confessed.

"Small corner. Just a bit." Jasper added after a beat. And Clarke could not stop herself from laughing out loud this time. Both boys took her in apprehensively. Bellamy looked on in scrutiny, clearly not convinced Clarke was taking her job seriously. Clarke ignored him.

"How would you guys like to be on the Council?" Clarke asked, and if she thought Bellamy's glare was bad before, it was nothing compared to the silent torture he was giving her now.

Silence fell in the small room and Monty and Jasper looked at the young Chancellor with wide eyes, also electing to ignore the harsh stare of the Commander.

"I think we're too high." Jasper whispered to Monty, without subtlety.

0o0

"Great idea, Princess. Just brilliant," Bellamy spat at her after she had called the Council members back to the Alpha Station later that day, "I thought you were going to punish them, not give them a seat on the Council!"

"I told them we'd _think_ about giving them a seat on the Council," Clarke argued, "Very different." Bellamy just rolled his eyes. _Drama queen,_ she thought.

"He might have a point, Clarke." Raven interrupted them, "What qualifications do they even have?" Clarke narrowed her eyes at Raven, irked at the side she seemed to have chosen.

"To start, they were in the top twenty-five percent of their class on Argo, they grow the pharmaceuticals and herbs I need in the clinic, and they could very well come up with the answer to the food shortage. That's why I want them. Plus they're hysterical."

"They were high, Princess." Bellamy reminded her. Then Slater spoke for the first time that meeting.

"I'm in." and Clarke beamed at him, causing Bellamy to scoff and Raven to throw her arms up in defeat.

"Works for me," she conceded, "Slater, you know what to do." And he came over to place her on his back again as Raven directed him to where she wanted to go, leaving Clarke alone with Bellamy.

"That wasn't an official vote." he grumbled and Clarke just smirked.

"You're just mad that you didn't win." She patted his shoulder condescendingly as she headed off to interrogation, where Monty and Jasper were awaiting the news.

She smiled to herself the whole way there.


	7. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

A/N: Clarke is losing it, yes. But she is Clarke Griffin and she will prevail! For those of you waiting for some Bellarke action, this is a slow burn, and I have plans for them later. I don't pretend to have a relative timeline set up so sorry if some things don't make sense. I also don't know much about malnutrition and how that affects people. Google all the way. Anyway, I'm trying here. This gets pretty dark and morbid. Enjoy!

0o0

The Council's decision to initiate Jasper and Monty proved to be both a very good and a very bad idea.

For one thing, they were extremely qualified, as Clarke pointed out, to grow herbs she could use for remedies in the clinic. Jasper had a certain knack for agriculture and was quite content to assemble a small project team from Farm Station to conquer the food shortage issue. Since Clarke became Chancellor, every person on every station received the same rations; however, there was debate that people with more labor intensive jobs should receive higher rations. They were still working on that one.

Clarke also discovered that Monty was not only trained in agriculture, but he had also been selected for the engineering program on Mecha Station just before the Culling. Bellamy grudgingly admitted that they had hit the jackpot with these two, though not in so many words. He was still beyond angry at Clarke for her actions in the interrogation room, and it showed in their interactions. Bellamy soon realized that no matter how much pushed and goaded Clarke, she had the ability to push and goad right back.

Clarke tried to feel some sort of accomplishment in herself and her actions. After being Chancellor for almost five months, she had made a friend in Raven and an enemy in Bellamy. She had killed two people. She had lost many more. She was tired. She was guilty. She was fighting. She was failing.

The one thing she was grateful for was that she finally felt like she had a council she could trust; a council that was smart and would be able to get the job done. There was hope in that, she thought. Clarke decided to be thankful for that, at least. Apparently, not everyone felt the same.

Clarke had tried not to make a big deal about Jasper and Monty's recruitment. She did, however, put a stop to their small corner in the Argo greenhouse, but let them keep a small plant each in their separate apartments. Who was she to deny people a bit of fun on their free time? Bellamy Blake made a big deal about it.

"I don't know why you even let them keep it at all." Bellamy seethed one day after his shift.

"I don't care what they do in their spare time, Blake; I don't know why you do."

"Because it's illegal!" he shouted at her. Clarke didn't even flinch.

"Oh, and I suppose you're the epitome of morals?" she quipped, "I saw you take that girl back to your room the other day. Real subtle." Bellamy Blake froze up at once and became very defensive; claiming that was his business and no one else's and made some excuse to leave. Clarke figured she'd made her point.

0o0

Clarke scheduled a full day meeting on the five month anniversary- if that was even the right term- of the Culling. It seemed symbolic.

The meeting wasn't extremely productive but it was important. Raven explained how she was working on some plans to reduce the power shortages throughout the Ark. She also hoped to reduce the amount of time the stations had to be on mandatory blackout so that it was only during sleeping hours. Then, Slater shared his piece about the improvement to the water filtration system and his hope to, at the very least, keep it running in that capacity, though he did say that if Jasper and Monty could reduce the food shortage, he would have to start thinking about routing a new water pipe to Argo. Jasper added to that point, claiming he knew of a moss that was hard to grow, but had water filtration properties. They decided Jasper and Monty would bring it up with their Argo project team.

Bellamy made short work of his update, merely claiming that he was working with Miller to detect threats like Murphy, Dax and Justin before they happened. He made sure to stand on the opposite side of the room as Clarke at all times, putting a damper on her relatively improved mood. She tried not to read too much into it.

All in all, Clarke thought it was a decent summary of everything they'd managed to come up with so far – now if only they could act on it.

Her disposition spiraled downwards when the time for her medical update came. She told the newcomers about the severity of the food shortage and how many malnourished children she had been seeing in the clinic. She made it clear that Monty and Jasper's one and only task at the moment was to alleviate the devastation, and fast.

What Clarke didn't share, however, were her true feelings on the situation. It made her sick to her stomach to see people – her people – suffering. She used to find solace in the clinic. It made her feel useful, whether it was giving birth to a baby, vaccinating a child, or healing a cut on the arm of a farmer. It made her feel good. It made her chest swell up with pride. She would rather be addressed as Doctor than Chancellor any day.

Now, walking into medical sent chills through her body and a feeling of dread settled in the pit of her stomach. Clarke now wanted to leave as soon as she walked in, but knew she couldn't leave Sterling and Fox to deal with the tragedy on their own. So she did what she always did. Clarke set her shoulders back and held her head high but by the end of a day in medical, her shoulders were slouched and her hands would shake and, especially if someone died of starvation, she would be close to tears.

She didn't share any of this with her council members though.

0o0

It was a few days later when it started. Clarke was in the med bay, going over patient files and adding notes as she went. Sterling and Fox were working overtime with the amount of malnourished children. Their moans filled the stale air as they either slept or tried to.

Miller pushed through the flaps of the med bay, carrying a child in his arms. Clarke pointed to the first open cot, and Miller laid the child down, only when he did, she realized who it was.

Charlotte.

Clarke thought she was going to vomit and her stomach seemed as if it were ripping itself apart. She couldn't breathe. This wasn't happening.

Miller was a good man, and Clarke felt that she should tell him so, but she couldn't get the words out as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled a blanket up around a barely conscious Charlotte's shoulders. Clarke wiped her eyes and stepped away from Miller's touch to grab a rapidly depleting extra ration pack from the cabinet in the far corner of the room.

Clarke sat wordlessly by Charlotte, gently rousing her and whispering words of encouragement as the child nibbled on the food. Miller squeezed Clarke's shoulder before making his leave.

Four days after Miller brought Charlotte in, it ended. Clarke had spent every waking moment in the clinic. She was running out of extra ration packs and had to start giving patients half, and then a quarter. She began to sleep in the med bay, never leaving unless a council matter drew her away.

"You're going to get sick too if you keep this up." Sterling said to her one day, concerned for the young Chancellor. She adamantly refused to leave, but Sterling did leave her a cup of water and a portion of a ration pack, which she ended up giving to Charlotte, who died in her sleep early the next morning.


End file.
